So you think you have heard the best pickup lines? There are many thousands of them, and most likely more are invented every year by guys that are desperately trying to impress a woman. This will never change, as we are always trying to be witty, funny, and just get the attention of pretty women anywhere, anytime. Pickup lines have changed a lot since the days of our parents, and their parents too. They have been around many years, and just keep getting dirtier and more graphic each year. I’m not going to post those kind here – OK, maybe a few. But not the worst of them, I will try to stick to the funny pickup lines, ok?

Join me in getting a good laugh at a few of these lines – I’m sure you’ve hear most of them before, but still they are always something to marvel at. Especially since some guys actually think they still work!

(yes, some are a little dirty – what did you expect?)

If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don’t, so let’s go.

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?

That dress looks great on you…as a matter of fact, so would I.

So, come back to my place, and if you don’t like it I swear I’ll give you a full refund.

Miss, If you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?

Hey baby, let’s play house, you can be the door and I’ll slam you!

Hi, my name is “Milk.” I’ll do your body good.

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.

Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I’ll throw you my meat.

[Excuse me, do you have the time?] “Yes, do you have the energy?”

At the office copy machine “Reproducing eh?” “Can I help?”

(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!

Does your ass have Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Well do you want it to be in good hands?

Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.

I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?

Hold out two fingers and say: “Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?” (I don’t know.) “‘Cause they’re mine sweetheart.”

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.

Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.

I’m gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.

My name’s [your name]. Just so you know what to scream.

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?

Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?